Four Cornered Forest cont...

When we get home no one says a thing about the day. There is a strange understanding or something. These are weird days. Edsel is sitting in the kitchen quietly while Mom and Grandpa are on the porch. Dad is somewhere, not sure.

Grandpa goes to the kitchen. Perim and I go to the porch, Perim jumps in Mom’s lap. Augusta is sitting by my feet. We hear a car in the distance. Perim’s ears alert. The sound of gravel and fall colors turned yellow red with smoke from lingering forest fires. Perim growls.

The color of the car is dusty and then I recognize it as Margarets. Grandpa steps out and squints as the car pulls up and parks. He calls Perim and they go inside. The kettle is boiling.

Hi Adeline. Good to see you out and about. Hi, Gretel, she says.

Her eyes. Squinty like a ferret or something. Tight lips, faking a smile like tight skin trying to mask the rock hard granite beneath it. Her insides are no longer easy to mask with her age though. I go inside with Perim and Grandpa.

Teenagers are like rattlesnakes, I can hear Mom say quiet. I can hear her grinning.

I pause inside the door.

We’re just having some tea. You want to stay have some, Mom asks her.

Well, I was just dropping this off, but I’d love to.

Grandpa must have known and leaves Perim in the kitchen and walks out to hand them both tea.

Grandpa. It’s her. I whisper before he gets to the door.

He nods. He knows.

Here you go ladies… Margaret… Welcome back. Sounds like you’ve missed the mountains.

I’ve missed a lot of things, I think.

Her tone leaves a little question in my mind. I wonder if anyone else notices.

People come and go, but the mountains remain the same. Someone said that once I think, Grandpa says. Or maybe I was just thinking about it.

I walk over to the window, away from the door and out of site I can hear it Grandpa’s voice, but I want to see his face to see if it's true. And it is.

Grandpa is being petty. I’ve never really seen him do this. But he seems a little annoyed. Then I hear him say to Mom his quick exit, I’m going to be getting home and let you two visit. I’ll take Perim with me. Margaret, well, I guess we’ll be seeing you around.

He steps back in, and nods at me, goes to the kitchen, and leaves with Perim out the side door to his truck. Edsel comes down from the loft.

What are you doing? he asks.

Watching Margaret.

Why?

Because. There’s something. Perim doesn’t like her.

So you don’t either? Perim also eats elk poop. Are you going to do that too?

Shut up.

She’s nice. She brings Mom all sorts of stuff.

Look at her eyes. There is something sinister there, don’t you see it?

I look out and on the porch she is facing Mom with this look. Mom is holding her tea looking at trees and what not, but Margaret doesn’t take her eyes off of her. A sort of animal hunger. A jealousy.

Edsel looks briefly, but doesn’t see a thing.

Mom! I’m hungry! he yells.

She’s just right out there. I’m sure you can…

Can you just grab something, dear. Whatever… she answers, rolling her eyes I imagine.

Can’t you? he asks.

No dear. Too cozy.

I smirk at him. He’d have Mom do everything for him if she was willing.

Lazy, I whisper under my breath to him so Mom doesn’t hear.

Shut up.

He goes in the kitchen.

I keep watching Mom and Margaret.

She is still staring right at Mom. Its totally freaky. A crazy woman stare with fake smile. Looks like she belongs in a hair salon, her look, that smell, chemical.

Suddenly she looks up at me and at first I think she doesn’t notice through the window, but she keeps staring and her lips widen in a smile and and her eyes open in on mine in my a hypnotic snake, her tongue slips out of her mouth, forked, a serpent she stares and I see the scales on her face and just as I duck she returns back to normal. I rub my eyes and peer out again. She is staring at mom smiling. She gives me the creeps.

Dad pulls in. I look out the window again, and except that Margaret turns to see Dad, everything else is the same. I run out and hug him before Margaret can get a word.

Dad, can I show you something?

I don’t even know what I’m going to show him, but something.

Sure, sure. Just give me a minute. Let me stretch my feet a little, say hello to Mom and Margaret here.

But you’ve been gone all day!

Honey, I’d love to see whatever, just give me a moment.

Margaret now has her snake eyes fixed on Dad as he walks up the porch.

Hi Honey, Mom says in her quiet voice.

Hi Dear. Hi Margaret. How you feeling, Hon?

Oh you know, a little chilled and nauseas, nothing a little potion and tea won’t heal. I’m getting there. I’ve been on my feet a little and it feels pretty good. Better than yesterday.

Edsel steps out with a cookie half hanging out of his mouth.

Can we go to Red Lakes tomorrow? his mumbled words.

Margaret turns and shoots him a quick look that goes unnoticed by everyone but me.

Red Lakes?

Geocache. You said we could go weeks ago. I’ve been waiting. Very patiently, he says.

Bragger.

I’ve been sick, Edsel, you sound so deprived.

But can we go?

Dad looks at Mom.

Sure, I don’t see why not.

What do you do at Red Lakes? Margaret asks. But something in her tone, like she already knows the answer, and why would she?

Geocache. It’s when you… But she interrupts me.

I know all about it. I wouldn’t think anyone would have done geocache all the way out here though. Fun. I used to do a little of that with my ex in Great Falls.

You want to come? Edsel proposes. He looks at me like it was to spite me and I glare a little. Pig.

Oh, I’d hate to intrude on a family trip.

Her nerve. Her tone. Surely everyone else sees through this but they don’t seem to.

I’d love to. She says before it can become a discussion. Then she looks at me. Did Mom see that? Dad? No one.

As evening falls on the forest I hear a sound. It sounds like a truck at first, but then it gets more blurred and higher pitch, the wind is suddenly picking up. I step off the porch to look. Augusta gets up behind me. Some early dropping leaves are flying in the wind, and the gray tones of night suddenly turn a more amber color, with mixed clouds in the blue sky. A few stars are appearing and the wind is oddly warm. Something is moving in.

Where are you going? Mom asks.

Just want to go see something.

Edsel follows me. When we get further away, I have to say it to him. I say it quietly.

Edsel. I am serious. There is something about her I don’t like.

I can tell. So can everyone. It’s not like you are keeping it a secret.

But seriously. She has an aura. A way. Have you seen some of the glares she shoots me? Like a cockatrice.

Probably just because she can tell you don’t like her. I think she’s kind of pretty in a weird way.

Oh geeze. I don’t, but that is not it. She knows I am on to her. Just watch her. That is all I’m asking. Just watch and see how she looks at Mom. Looks at Dad.

We walk into the woods watching Augusta chase after a squirrel, and when we come back to the porch, Margaret is bringing Mom and Dad more tea and they are sitting around like old family.

We walk back to the porch. I wish Grandpa was here. I wish Margaret wasn’t. She keeps staring at Dad like she wants to kiss him or something. So gross. I want her to leave.

Mom, will you come read with me.

I’ll do anything to get her away from Margaret.

I’ll come in shortly. You go ahead and get your jammies on and I’ll be up in a bit.

I’m not ready for bed.

Well, just go’head and start reading. I’ll come in shortly.

I go in and eventually I hear some keys ringling and I know she is leaving. She pops her head in the living room.

Good night, Gretel, she says to me.

‘Night Margaret, is all I can muster without looking up from my book.

You can call me Auntie Margaret, if you want. Or Auntie Mag. Whatever.

I glare up at her in shock. What the heck is that supposed to mean?

She steps in the kitchen. I don’t know what she is doing in there. And when she comes out says,

Well, tell your brother good night.

Like, why is she doing this? As if she is some big part of our life all of a sudden. She makes me a sick. Mom comes in wrapped in a blanket. I wish she didn’t look so pale. Dad is holding her elbow like helping an old woman, and I don’t want Mom to be an old woman. But she comes to the sofa and snuggles in tightly beside me.

There. That wasn’t so long was it?

Why did she say I could call her Auntie?

Mom sighs a little, and with a smile. She puts her hand on my leg, hoping the touch will help my understanding or something.

She is my half sister. So technically, yeah, I guess she’s right.

She’s your sister?!

Half sister. Ish sort of. It’s complicated. She came to live with us during some difficult years at home. Her father was… abusive…

Why didn’t you ever tell me?

Well, like we said, we hadn’t really thought about her in years. And when she went away, and was gone so long, I guess a lot of us thought she was probably going to be gone for good. She left so, so long ago.

I wish she was still gone.

Well, she’s not, so let's just get to know her again, and make the best of it. She’s family.

But she killed someone?

Mom gives me a look that tells me to speak softer.

But she did. That’s what Grandpa said, I insist.

Yes. She did. It was an accident.

Says who?

Gretel…

Mom has a way of saying my name. She doesn’t say it mad or raised like Dad, just a simple statement of my name, and that is all it takes, when I know I am going to far. She always stays so calm. Sometimes I push this button a little, and then make a joke of it.

Well, you never know, I say, trying to sound softer.

Mom gets up to go to to the bathroom. She is looking pretty sickly tonight.

Outside I can hear dad and Margaret’s voices softly, like two people that know each other from long ago, and I guess they do, even if I wish they didn’t.

It’s weird, you being back, says Dad.

Good weird, I hope, Margaret says.

I can smell cigarette smoke coming in from the porch and it makes me a little sick.

I mean, the four of us, we used to spend all our time together. Then suddenly half the pack was gone. You were gone. He was gone. It really changed everything.

And now you are with Adeline. If he hadn’t died, you and I probably would have…

I hear a pause. I want to see them but I can’t from where I am sitting.

I mean, I’m not trying to make things weird, she says, her voice muffled. It’s like we might as well just get that out of the way though. I mean, you have kids now. You seem happily married.

I hear Mom coming from the kitchen and she sees that I am listening and runs her hand down my shoulder as she passes back outside to the porch. As she steps out, everything seems warmer. That is how Mom makes everything seem. As I look past her I can see stars popping out over the trees outside. She really is like magic and that little touch makes me feel better. I wrap up in a blanket and go sit on Mom’s lap outside. She wraps me up.

The cigarette smoke is blowing in the house, I say.

Margaret looks at me and flicks the sparking stub in the driveway.

Mom says those are the most poisonous thing on earth, I state matter of factly.

She franks a smile a little and looks at Mom.

Always knows what's good for you, don’t you Adeline. Seems your daughter has inherited your good sense.

Her tone has a visible edge and dad breaks the awkward silence.

Who would have guessed back then? None of us thought we’d ever have kids back then. But boy, it all changes so much. In ways you’d never really expect.

Mom is looking spacey. Staring off into the sky.

I think the northern lights are showing a little over there.

But Dad and Margaret aren’t even looking. I am watching Margaret and she knows it. Margaret has this look for Dad. I don’t like it one bit.

Cold night, she says. Got real cold. I probably should be getting home. I’ll need to make a fire. An empty house is hard to warm.

She digs in her infinite handbag and jingles her keys as she gets up and walks past me and I can smell the stale piss smell of cigarette on her. Like smelly cats.

See you in the morning?

That’s right. Mom says. That’ll be great. Come in time for coffee and we’ll head out around nine or ten.

She gets in the car. Only the faintest light. I get up towards the door when I hear the car not starting. Mom is getting up and sliding into the seat next to Dad, but from the car I can hear slamming and see the faintest motion of her pounding on the steering wheel and I pause frozen to watch as I am pretty sure she is losing it.

Do you see that? I ask. Half amused.

Her car not starting? Dad rises to a disappointed Mom.

As he walks to the car Margaret gets out and lets him in the seat. The car fires immediately.

Sometimes you just need a man, I hear her say as she puts her hand on Dad’s arm as he gets out.

I hate this woman.

Late in the night Edsel is asleep with a slight bug snore. I can’t sleep and am just laying watching the stars and I see a flash of light that looks like a flashlight beam shining up through the trees, and it’s windy, but when I get up and look out the window it’s gone so I sit wrapped up and watch waiting to see if I see anything else. The sky is crystal clear and the stars look light bright pinholes in a black sheet, bursting to let the light from behind shine through. The darkness of night always feels the most magical. Maybe that’s why the owls seem so smart. Seems like they have more of a connection to magic. They are creatures of the night, when all the world relies on senses other than sight. During the day we rely so much on our eyes, but at night we have to use our other sense, those senses that if we do not practice using, will never develop. Mom and Dad are big on the extra sense. Mom says that is how we know what is right and wrong. Things no religion ever teaches. Our senses can tell us by what we know we should do and know we shouldn’t do. Dad says they are a way for us to sense danger. Like when a mountain lion is sneaking up on you. If you only rely on sight, you’ll never see it coming, but if you tap into the magical sixth sense, you can protect yourself from the things you do not see. I lay down with my head hanging off upside down looking out the window past the larch, watching the sky for a sign, and sure enough, just after my owl comes to perch I see a shooting star, like a giant light across the sky. Eventually I let my eyes close and drift off.