I don't know where my brain went

But I think it is up in the smoke

So rather than overthink it, I thought I’d sit down here, like the original plan of this blog in the first place, and use it to let my mind rip some words on to a page. Think about whatever it wants. And 3, 2, 1, go.

Last week I posted a note on freedom of thought. I forget exactly how I worded it, but the basic premise is this: In this modern era of constant evaluation, judgement, and righteous decision making, which has become integrated into every facet of our every day lives, we have a terrible risk of never being allowed to think our own thoughts for fear of judgement and even worse, retribution. Thinking is supposed to a dynamic process. As we pass through our day to day, year to year, decade to decade, we evolve. We listen, observe, read, evaluate, try, fail, try again, succeed, find things that work, find things that don’t work. But in this day and age, with constant social media exposure, both inwards and outwards, we risk a very dangerous thing… We risk finding ourselves in place where we are afraid to say what we are actually thinking, and even worse, to try things that may fail spectacularly for risk of external judgement from both our peers, friends, family, and a million people that do not know us.

It’s wild really. How much we have to worry about what we say. I'm writing about this because I have to think about it all the time. I own a business. I sell coffee. And I don’t really care who buys my coffee. I sell it to make a living. Lots of people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, with all sorts of views like our coffee. And that is the way it is supposed to be. But the burden of expectation from many customers is that I am supposed to only sell and cater to people that think like they do. Assumptions are made about how I think based on how I market the coffee. Assumptions on my personal world view are made. I know this because I’ve been told quite directly by countless people through direct messages over the years, some who compliment me along the way, others who ask a sort of “how dare you?!” even with a thing so trivial as putting a “like” on a social media post they happen to disagree with. And mind you, I try quite actively to remain without politics in my business dealings.

The problem with bringing politics or social commentary into business, even in personal life, without a general societal wide recognition that we do not need to judge people for their commentary, is that people need to be able to think about things, try ideas on, move through them, change, evolve. Social media is intended to be a place for dialogue, for discussion, for learning new things. But obviously anyone reading this is likely well aware that social media is none of these things. Most approach it looking for reinforcement of existing views. And somewhere in the last several years the collective mind has decided it is better to shun, and even severe relationships with people of opposing views on hot topics. As if those singular issues define each and every person that touches them. No room for nuance, no room for discussion of gray area or even of the fact that one small view is nothing more than that… one small view.

I’ve seen families destroyed over irrational discussions over things that in the end, none of them had any control over. Political theory, social theory, basic ideas that have no tangible effect on real world day to day, in which the effected parties have no ability what so ever to even remotely change the overall effect of the topic, but still friendships fallen to the way side, families thrown into the fire. It’s wild. The basic idea may sound like warm milk, and it has been sold to us as “dangerous,” but in the end, my view is very resolutely, it’s ok to agree to do disagree. Change the subject, move on. Don’t be afraid to retreat to common ground. Wars could be prevented if we followed this path, let alone families and friendships saved.

People in America have been sold that if they do not signal their virtue with every comment, every post, every purchase, that they are failing the greater good of society, that they are somehow contributing to the decline of civilization. It’s non-sense of course. It’s a sales tactic, both commercially and politically. Fear, division, and anger have been shown through peer reviewed research to not only draw and hold attention, but to also garner enough emotion that people will spend their money in blind efforts to contribute change. So the commercial powers that control this new media landscape, which is social media, have built algorithms to help promote those very things… fear, anger, division. Look for it. Once you start looking, you can’t unsee it. Everything we are being sold is based on it. It’s all basic commercialism at this point. And it’s one of the reasons I so enjoy Substack. I can find writing here that is not based on it and even the app as a whole is not advertising to me incessantly based on that algorithm.

So I ask myself often, what would I say if no one is listening? What do I actually think about this or that? The reality is, in many arenas I’ll continue to hold my cards close. There is no reason to air everything to the world. For as active as I am on Instagram and here, there are a lot of things I see no reason to share with the world. I’m not someone who believes we need to put it all out there. Why? Why would I need to share every single emotion and challenge I go through? For some, they want to share that level of their existence, for me I’d rather keep some close friendships for that purpose. But there is something to sharing broader ideas, broader concepts, and art. It is satisfying to share thoughts that connect with others and bring about social connections that otherwise are unavailable to us at scale. It is likewise inspiring to see the work of others, the thoughts and progress of thoughts they have, as well as the art they produce. It is exciting to see the snippets of beauty others pick up on in their day to day, and share those things if it inspires even just a few.

But my goal in the last several years has been to not let the media succeed in telling me I need to judge everyone for every single idea that is floated in these spaces. People are exposed at unprecedented levels. And the information we see about it is extremely limited AT BEST, we never ever have the full story or even a full picture of what is behind peoples comments, ideas, words, or even actions. More often than not, the more attention a person is given in the media, the more the story is being manipulated in one way or another. It’s wild out there there. It’s a western free for all, cutting and snipping, manipulating for the purpose of massive commercial and political monetization and exploitation. But even on a micro level I try to give people the freedom to make mistakes, or, even more importantly, to give myself room to be wrong, to change my mind, and realize that as my own perspective shifts, I see things differently. Maybe certain people I thought I adamantly disagree with simply have a wildly different perspective. I’m not them. I don’t have their history. I don’t have their vantage point. And that’s life. We share this world with several billion other creatures similar to us, but with vastly different backgrounds. My goal has become to exert a little patience and understanding, and to sometimes just simply know 1.) I’m not going to like everyone, but that is ok, and 2) it is ok to disagree with people I do like. It’s a good thing. It also is inevitable.

As I look out in the media landscape I see a lot of stupid ideas. The world is full of them. But the honest truth is, a lot of those stupid ideas come from nice people, people with whom I’m might have a perfectly cordial conversation if we were both waiting at the tire shop for our cars to be finished. Some of those people do amazing work I might really appreciate that has nothing to do with the stupid idea they posted yesterday on X. And if I base everything on this notion that their stupid idea on X precludes me from looking any more at them, engaging at any other level, or assuming that every single aspect of their life is equally as stupid, I’m short changing myself on a vastly more interesting world. While their idea on fertilizing their lawn with chemical X may have ill affects on their personal health or biodiversity of their lawn, they also happen to be an amazing wood worker who has work unlike any other… or whatever. You get the point I hope.

It’s become tiring to live in a world where we judge everyone so swiftly especially over arguments that are completely dead-ended and irrelevant to any real world day to day. It’s tiring having to constantly guard what we say even with friends for fear word may get out that don’t buy into the latests virtue signally movement. Actions speak louder than words in the long run, but right now we live in a world where words spread like a dry grass fire in late July. (As anyone here in Missoula knows, like what happened here last night, its freaking fast!)

Anyways, that’s today’s morning thoughts. There is a fire burning just over the mountain from my house. Driving north from downtown to my house, looking up the street just two days ago I noted that all the grasses that were heavenly green and lush just a few weeks ago are now severely and starkly pale brown, so much that it seems like just thinking the wrong thought about them might spark them into flames. Well shit, someone did, or something did just last night, and now that fire is burning uncomfortably close to town. Smoke fills the air. The temps have a few more days to linger around 100. My brain still isn’t working right, and sleep is a shit show in this heat. Most of us don’t have AC in Montana as these spells rarely last more than a week or three, so it’s hard to justify. But dang, right now I want to stick my head in the freezer for a few days.

But this is summer. The extremes are good for us. It’s good to reach out and touch the edge, feel the heat. Push into it even. Put it in your hand and play with it a little. It’s good to know what the world has to offer. That sort of exploration into the discomfort is what builds our character, or put differently, teaches us the lessons that enrich life that can not be learned except through experiencing some intensity beyond comfort. Comfort is not a particularly good teacher. So as the smoke builds, the heat increases, I try (and often struggle) to push through it and see what’s on the other side. Blue skies push in eventually, and how much sweeter when they do. The contrasts of life are what make it so rich.